Now we know why Travis Barker wanted a divorce

He just wanted to get frisky with America's snobbiest prostitute:

Do you think we can't recognize you with that wig on, Paris? Your half-droopy face helps us spot you from miles away. I think you're the only person in the world who's given themselves a stroke by spending 498 hours straight striking poses in the mirror.

Shame on you, Travis! You're a father, for goodness sake! It's just not fair to pass crabs to your kids before they've even had the birds and the bees talk.

Paris and Travis all over each other in the bushes:

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