Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Hold on, kids!

K-Fed's almost out, y'all!! *REJOICE*

Kevin Federline will die in 26 years, at least according to Blender magazine.

In the October issue, the music mag estimates when "your favorite pop star" will croak. Taking into account Mr. Britney Spears' age, height, smoking habits, alleged love of alcohol, marijuana and reported body odor, Federline is predicted to walk amongst us until the ripe old age of 55.

Gerontologist Dr. Demko writes in the issue that "Kevin will also need the common sense to ditch the smoking, booze and drugs, which will give him 16 more years to enjoy Britney's money and watch his four (and counting) kids grow up."

I so love that they factored in his "reported body odor". Shouldn't that be used to calculate Britney's last days?! That alone would cut her life a good 19 years. Maybe the Cheeto dust that is constantly in orbit around her serves as a shield! And the RedBull totally acts like a lightening strike against pot fumes! No wonder she's always downing that stuff. I wonder if they shipped his ass off to an exfoliation center, as my friends and I often hope, if that would at least add a few good years to his life? What the hell am I talking about? Let that radioactive baby making machine peace out of here!


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