No words

The Robotrons at Paris Fashion Week events:

Ugh, I just don't even know what to do with these two anymore. Katie can't keep her hands off of Liza Minelli's career sportswear, and Posh still looks like Katie's demented robot companion. Why are these two attached at the hip, again??



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The Robotrons do lunch

Ugh, it just makes sooo much sense that these two are friends. One of them is a human brain in a robot body and the other one is a human body with an alien-brainwashed brain. You know they want to just zap those paparazzi with ray guns so badly and are holding back.



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Posh: a sad cow?

Victoria Beckham says she can understand why the British public are so fascinated by her - because she always looks so miserable. The former Spice Girl admits she encourages attention by appearing so down in the mouth all the time - but she insists she's not really an unhappy person. Beckham says, "I blame it on the fact that people are intrigued by the miserable-looking cow they see in the papers. I think people have an impression that I am one way, and in actual fact I'm not really like that at all."

Um... by "cow" does she mean eating-disorder-robot-barbie? I'm confused. And I know the reason she never smiles. British teeth:


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David Beckham is low maintenance

David Beckham is hoping he'll receive a frying pan for Christmas this year. The Real Madrid ace and multi-millionaire is happiest cooking up treats in the kitchen - and he wants his wife Victoria Beckham to give him a simple seasonal gift. He says, "I learned to cook at 17 when I was living alone in Manchester. I lived alone for five years and I did my own cooking. "I love cooking now for my wife, children, family and friends so I'd love it if they bought me some saucepans or a frying pan."

I guess metal things come in handy when you're married to a robot. Anything soft could be crushed by her hands or her cleavage, either accidentally or in a fit of rage. So most Christmases he ends up asking for thimbles, frying pans, safety pins and shovels.

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Yeah.. there's no going back now

It's all over now. That weird orange glow in the background is the light from Xenu's space craft, waiting to beam Crazy & Brainwashed up. Is it just me or is Katie totally hunching her shoulders here to make Tom look taller?

A few guest arrivals:

J-Ho's gloves are really freaking me out. I guess she didn't want one inch of skin to touch any of the weird Scientology shit that might be at the ceremony. And I think she skinned a polar bear to make that fur wrap.

And, um, what is Posh doing?! Doesn't she know this isn't her big day, it's Katie's? Doesn't she know they might confuse her headgear for a flying saucer and jump on top of her? Maybe she's just trying to get even with them for giving out towels as wedding favors.

Jada totally bought her dress from the white and black section of Forever 21. And you know Brooke Shields just came to laugh her ass off at their creepy cult ceremony and drink a bunch of free champagne.

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