Skeletor returns

Ugh, do we have another Bobby Brown issue here? Because J-Ho has been lookin HURT since she's gotten with him. I mean, good god, LOOK AT THEM. He is such a trainwreck. And a velvet suit?! Are you sure about that? The sheen dancing off bones is really confusing. That coupled with the veins in his hands is really FrIgHtEnInG. And please, for the love of god, J-Ho, share some of your under-eye concealer with him. Real men wear makeup! Or whatevs, just tell him that while he's drinking blood. Speaking of makeup...J-HO...WTF?! What is going on with her makeup lately?!


This makeup makes her look so old, her nose randomly looks like someone pushed their thumb on it, and the orange bronzer with pink gloss is really not doing it for me. They both need new makeup people PRONTO.

More of the trainwrecks at the 10th Annual Ace Awards Gala

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Julia goes ape shit!

This is just a really funny picture! No drama...no scandal...just Julia filming Charlie Wilson's War in Morocco...and getting teabagged by a monkey on her free time. Sweet.

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Diddy ft. Christina Aguilera - Tell Me video

The song is kind of wack, but maybe it needs to grow on me a little more. Diddy is annoying and full of himself as always...and Christina is smokin as always! It's a little bit of a throwback to the old Dirrty Xtina days. It's weird to see her with the long straight hair again...but she's definitely rockin it!

Fresh Juice

Marcia Cross and her nudie pics
<--(how scary is that photo of her with Eva?!)

Jessica Simpson eats meatballs and is worried about the future of her romantic life

The Hilton sisters wear their 5th round of slutty Halloween costumes

Brad Pitt tries to do some manual labor and finds he can only lift a bowl

The deal is sealed

Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's reality TV pitch has been given the green light. The show, which will follow the newlyweds in a quest to buy and renovate a bed-and-breakfast while expecting the birth of their first child, will air in six half-hour episodes on the Oxygen network starting next spring. According to the show's producer, Spelling and McDermott "may be actors, but they're also very entrepreneurial. They wanted to create a real business." The show's finale is expected to coincide with the birth of the couple's baby in March.

We all know how relationships end after a reality show...Jess & Nick...Carmen & Dave...Shanna & Travis...it's not good. Looks like that tatoo he got of her really IS the funniest thing in the world after all! How do you even cover all that fugness up?

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Nicole is already out of rehab

Why is she already out?? I have NO idea. Maybe they told her that she was so far gone, there's just no way she'll ever return to human form... and she's scaring away all of their normal patients. So, they just released her back into the wild.

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Clues to the split?

A few gems from Ryan's 2002 interview with Howard Stern, an interview that Reese was so upset about that she forbid Ryan from ever going on Howard's show again:

-There is no pre-nuptial agreement, so he will get half no matter what

-Ava's been sleeping in their bed every night and it's been driving Ryan nuts

-Howard: "I don't know how the hell you're going to stay married"

-Ryan goes to therapy for depression and also talks to his therapist about his career

-Reese isn't into threesomes

-Ryan has been hit on by gay casting directors

-Ryan said he would tell Ava when she's older that she was unplanned

Ryan also told the media in 2002 that they were in couples therapy. I guess they held on for another 4 years after that. They should be proud, most Hollywood marriages don't last that long even if you count them in dog years.

It'll be great when Ava gets old enough to google herself, and finds this interview where her dad tells Howard Stern that she was a mistake. Classic.

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Kirsten Dunst worries about important things

"Everyone in LA is so adorned these days - scarves, sunglasses, bangles. Some mornings, I have to stop myself and think, 'Do I have too much stuff on?'" -Kirsten Dunst on the dangers of over-accessorizing in Los Angeles.

Kirsten, your problem isn't ever over-accessorizing. Your problem is that no matter how many granny clothes and hippy accessories you pile on, your fug still shines through full strength. You could put your entire body inside a huge handbag and walk around with just your feet sticking out, and people would still say "damn, she's saggy."

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Makeover of the Day: Uma Thurman

Uma in 1997 and then 2006:

The hair... is just so bad. Instead of a cute pixie cut it's a poofy pixie cut.

Somehow Uma hasn't aged a day in 10 years. That sucks for people like Tara Reid who've aged 10 years in one day...

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Make it stop

Ok, I think it's about time for Halloween to be over. Don't the Duff sisters know that the point of Halloween is to look cute and slutty? They seem to think the point of Halloween is to be really, really scary. Since when is scary the point of Halloween?!

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Carousel of Hope Ball

Everyone actually looks pretty and put together! Snaps! And yes, that is Whitney Houston! It's amazing what some hair dye, makeup, falsies and NOT being a strung out crackwhore can do for you! Work it out, Whit!

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It's up to y'all!

I don't even have words for this...so it's up to y'all! What the hell is going on here?!?!?!

Jazzercise? Buns of Steel? Electric Youth? That's Debbie Gibson for you youngins Halloween Aerobics whorebag? I'm so confused.

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This BETTER be for Halloween

Can someone explain to me why the HELL Hilary is trying to be all goth at the 17th Mercedes-Benz Carousel of Hope Ball ?! How can anyone try to be goth at a function that has Carousel and Hope in the title? Dumbass. That's like me showing up in a garter belt and nothing else at a children's Micky D's party. It's just wrong and only Paris Hilton is brain dead enough to do that. This hair looks terrrrrrrrible on her. Joel needs to simma down and stop trying to make Hil so hardcore. This is Lizzie McGuire we're talkin about here.

Seriously, everything is wrong here. Is she trying to be sexy with the I'm so smokey and sexy I can't even open my eyes look? The hair, the hair style, the makeup...everything. She's a mess. There's random strands of hair everywhere, and the racoon eyes with red lips is so Anna Nicole. At least the dress is slightly pretty...slightly drape-ish.

She totally got punched in the face. That's the only thing that can explain those bug eyes.



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WHYYYYY

I am very sad to say that Reese and Ryan are offically separating.

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe have separated. The couple's rep released a statement to TMZ Monday morning that says "We are saddened to announce that Reese & Ryan have decided to formally separate. They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time."

Ew. This makes me really sad. They were the cutest little couple. And they seemed so normal. Waaah, is Hollywood a death sentence for EVERY friggin marriage?! Jeez. They even had little mini-me's Ava and Deacon. Ugh, this blows.

*Sigh* The good ol' days...



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Kevin strikes out again

Kevin Federgrime has been scheduled to perform at Webster Hall in NYC, but things aren't looking so good for the 3 fans who've bought tickets:

Our spies at Webster Hall say that so few $20 tickets have been sold for Federline's Nov. 4 show that "we may just cancel it. New Yorkers are clearly not fans of 'Popozao.'" Britney Spears' hubby - who claims he is the most underrated person in Hollywood - should be used to rejection by now. We hear his Cleveland show was also canceled due to lack of interest.

I think the mistake they've made is charging people to see the show. If they would just pay people $20 and serve free alcohol all night, I bet at least 10 people would show up. Ok, maybe 8.

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Fresh Squeezed

Brooke Hogan thinks she's special. She's not.

Whitney Houston hides her drug face under lots of makeup and flattering lighting

What a shocker. Nicole Skeletor Richie may have collapsed at Hyde last night.

Brangelina are all over India.

Kate Bosworth is still almost transparent

Katherine Heigl says she's shy

Katherine Heigl overcame her shyness over stripping on Grey's Anatomy, after the crew dropped their clothes on set. Heigl admits she felt really uncomfortable when she had to shoot her first underwear scene and was thrilled when the crew joined her. She says, "I'm very comfortable with my body. I'm super OK with it in the dark in my own home; that's fine. But, on a set in front of not only an entire crew but then we had a whole bunch of background actors for this one particular scene I had to do... It was a very empowering scene but I felt very insecure and very scared. "I jokingly said something to the director... I said, 'Why don't you get in your underwear, if I have to get in my underwear?' And he actually did... and then so did the crew. "It was fun. It definitely relieved a lot of the tension for me. It took a lot of the eyes off me, which was nice."

Um, hell yeah the crew is going to do anything they have to to get Katherine in her underwear! I bet they would have run all over town naked if she'd asked them to!



And we totally believe her story about only being comfortable with her body at home.



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Gorgeous, flowing... hair?

Pamela Anderson gives us a peek at her clip-on hair extensions:

Is that a bald spot I see? I don't even want to know. That's disgusting. If half your body is fake, the least you can have is real hair. If every part of you is fake, are you even a human? I say no. She must be an alien. Now we know the truth!!



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