Nicole may have grown into a size 0

Nicole takes her half-sister to see Charlotte's Web:

You must admit, her legs are looking pretty healthy and cute! However her arms still look like they could be used for weapons. Who would ever dare to mug her with arms that sharp? I guess it's smart really.

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Julia Roberts just got knocked up again!!

Julia can't keep her legs closed...

Julia Roberts is expecting her third child with husband Danny Moder.

Roberts is due this summer, her rep, Marcy Engelman, confirms.

News of the pregnancy first appeared in the New York Post's Page Six column. Roberts, 39, and Moder, 37, were married in July 2002 and welcomed Hazel and Finn (short for Phinnaeus) in November 2004.

In May, Roberts told David Letterman of the twins: "They seem to really love each other. He's sort of very boyish and masculine. He has red hair and big green eyes. And she's very girlish and has very blonde hair and blue eyes. He likes blueberries. She likes her daddy."

All I have to say is, let's hope this baby is a girl, cause if it's a boy she's going to pick out another sissified name for it.


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Fruit Juicer

Michael Jordan and his wife are getting divorced

Where are all the trashiest celebs spending New Years??

Ew nasty, Kim Stewart and Lindsay Lohan both look old and haggard

Genius: Paris Hilton toilet paper

Jamie Lynn Sigler looks like a cheap hooker

Kate & her mini-me

Kate Beckinsale and her daughter Lily go shopping at Kitson:

Is that random woman behind her an assistant and her only job is to carry that 4 inch Kitson bag? I'm just going to assume that's the case. Anyway, Kate and her daughter look like they're headed to an audition for Newsies.

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wtf? Prince Harry is going to Iraq?

Prince Harry is going to Iraq, reportedly heading there with his unit in May.

Harry will be stationed near the southern port city of Basra and will likely be assigned to patrol the border with Iran.

London's Daily Telegraph said Harry, 22, is determined to go, despite reports of resistance from many in the military who fear he would be a fat prize for terrorists.

They're also worried he would attract attention and put his fellow soldiers in greater danger.

The Telegraph said officials are trying to figure out how to minimize the danger without giving Harry special treatment.

Ok, that's cute and all that he wants to go, but you know they're going to stick him in some heavily barricaded building and surround him with every British troop they've got. Does he really think he's gonna be allowed to run around dodging land mines?

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Ashlee Simpson and her two lovers

Ashlee goes out for coffee with her latest boyfriend, Ray Brady, and her dog, which looks like Sugarpie's bastard puppy. I guess it's good that she's at least dating an actual guy now. Whenever I looked at her old boyfriend, I just wanted to ask him where he got his lip gloss.



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Elisha gets photoshopped

Elisha Cuthbert in January Cosmo:

There's really not much to say about these pictures other than "photoshop is awesome." I mean, let's think about what Elisha looks like without photoshop... Yikes.



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Fruit Juicer

Anyone remember Niki Taylor? She just got married!

Uh oh... Britney's biggest fan site is shutting down, cause Brit is gross now

Ew!! Is this Jennifer Aniston's new sugar daddy?

Jennifer Lopez wears stilettos in the snow

Nicole's face is officially melting

Nicole is reunited with her cheating drug-addict hubby of 6 months:

I have a sneaking suspicion that this isn't Nicole. If it is, she's wearing a mask with a smile on it to hide her actual scowling face, and the mask is melting. However I'm pretty sure this isn't even her. She sent some robot or body double to take her place. The same one she sends to spend time with her kids.



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Paris gets into the spirit of after Christmas sales

You know every year Paris counts down the days until December 26th & 27th which is when she can shamelessly shop for herself until she drops, wearing her "Teenage Millionaire" shirt. Here she is on Robertson scoring some deals on whoregear and wonky-eye covering shades.


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What a cutie

When I say cutie, I'm obviously NOT talking about Meg and her waist-drooping chimis. I'm talking about her little daughter.. who's suddenly huge! I remember when that kid was a baby and still being carried around by the nanny helper. I guess now that the kid can walk on its own, Meg doesn't need to have the nanny around 24/7 to carry it. Whatever... cute kid!


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Sexiness

Brandon Davis is spending the holidays spreading blubber instead of cheer. Here he is in Hawaii scaring small children. I bet you could put a tent around him and trick some tourists into paying to see the beached manatee.

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Fruit Cup

Cheerful holiday divorce: Sandra Oh's marriage is now over

Keith Urban's "mistress" keeps trying to extend her 15 minutes of fame. (Isn't Keith gay though?)

Kate Moss & Pete Druggerty plan to wed soon

Xtina gives P-Diddy a bunch of baby stuff for his new twins. You know she just sent her old clothes.

Rosie & Donald are still going at it!

Christina is perfection

You must admit, the more Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson fall apart and dress like slobs, the more put together Xtina looks. It's like she's slowly sucking the pretty & classy out of Jess & Brit! I would try to put a stop to it if I wasn't hypnotized by how damn cute she looks.



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Kid Rock visits troops for the holidays... I'm sure they'd rather meet his exwife

Is Scary Spice resorting to black magic to lure her baby daddy back into her arms??

Breaking: Tara Reid still a disgusting mess

Another surprise: Angelina helps some poor people over the holidays

Hey y'all... Merry Xmas!

Hope you all get lots of presents!!!

WTF:

Baby Jesus is crying right now...

Fruit Juicer

Britney barfs in public, cause she's just classy like that

Miss Nevada says some of the crap people have said about her is untrue. Maybe if she had cried, she'd still have her crown.

Watch out, Posh Spice has boobs that could knock over a small child

Nicole Richie's ex, DJ AM, is looking for another famous girl to date

Is the Pope gay?

Donald Trump is a little insecure

Rosie O'Donnell has finally shut her trap after saying Trump went bankrupt and making fun of his combover. Donald isn't finished, though. He's slinging the insults at Rosie to any news source who will listen:

To Larry King on CNN: "Disgraceful, a horrible human being, a terrible person ... a loser. Her magazine failed. The ratings for her show were terrible. They basically threw her off the air. ... She is not a good person. She makes false statements. She's a bully."

To the FOX News Channel, he said: "Barbara Walters, in my opinion rues the day she put that animal on her show."

To the Los Angeles-based TV show Good Day L.A.: "Maybe she wanted to put the crown back on Miss USA's head. I think she's very attracted to Miss USA so she probably wanted to put the crown on her head herself."

To the New York Post: "She's an extremely unattractive person who doesn't understand the truth. ... I think she's a terrible person ... She has failed at everything she has done...She's a bully and she sucker punches people."

Um, simmer down, Donald. You know you were attracted to Miss USA too, and wanted to put the crown back on her head and that's what you did. So seriously, get over yourself. And calm down! It's almost Christmas.

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Ken Paves, please help

Gwyneth Paltrow in London:

Ugh, when your hair looks like this anything would be better, including barbie hair. I know she's a mom, but that's really no excuse to have 5 split ends in every strand of hair. And why are there random pieces that look like they were dipped in mud. Gross.



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Next he'll be eating alien brains

Tom Cruise has already brainwashed Will Smith into thinking he needs a sham Scientology ceremony:

Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith were satisfied with the small wedding ceremony they held in 1997, until they attended Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Italian nuptials last month. Will and Jada have decided to hold another ceremony next year (2007) to mark their tenth anniversary, after witnessing such a spectacular wedding. Will explains, "We had an OK wedding. We just came back from Tom and Katie's wedding. So, that made me realise we didn't have a big wedding. "They had a real wedding. It was just the most amazing, beautiful, wonderful, fairy tale experience ever and I was just sitting beside Jada going, 'Phew!' "I hadn't had too much success when we got married, so I couldn't afford that. Ten years - we're going to go back and do it again - renew the vows and all that."

Ok, so apparently to have a "real wedding" like Tom & Katie, you need to have: 1 groom who's good at mind control and working the platform dress shoes, 1 bride who doesn't mind sleeping in the basement while her hubby cuddles with his Bobby Trendy pillow, a baby of unknown origin, a bunch of fireworks and a spooky castle. Future brides, take notes!



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Fresh Squeezed

Miss Nevada gets kicked out for acting like a big whorebag lezbo

Um, how many judges are going to order a paternity test for Anna Nicole's baby before we see some RESULTS?

Omg! So it IS possible for a woman to have two wombs? I thought that only happened on Grey's Anatomy

Keeping the bones in

Kate Bosworth at the Spring 2007 Jill Stewart show:

I guess her bones are so close to the surface that she has to wear a buttoned up turtleneck to keep everything in. Either that or she thought that her ribcage was just too sexy for us normal peeps to handle.



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Makeover of the Day: Mariah Carey

I don't know if this is even a makeover. I mean, the eyebrows before are a little bushy, but now they just look drawn on. The hair from before is a little wild, but now she just looks like she got some extensions from the clearance section at Ken Paves.

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Lindsay airs her goodies

Ew, she's looking all kinds of nasty here. I take it back if I ever said her dark hair looked good. Huge Ugg boots, blinding pale white legs, greasy black hair? She looks like something out of the Addams Family.



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